"4) Let's assume the unproved claim that DA/DV is commited predominantly by men against women: what if the woman attack the man and he retaliates? What if she does something indefensible, such as cheating on him or aborting his baby without his approval? (By the way, I absolutely abhore men who cheat on their gf's/wives). Should his instictive reaction to strike her really result in punishment: ie: is that fair?"

I would want to agree with you, but this point is invalid.

If someone wishes to extend their range of romantic partners and/or sexual partners -- that's their call.

And abortion, really is only the womans call.

Neither of which makes a beating justifiable nor called for.

You see a woman is never chattel.

Neither of which makes a beating justifiable nor called for.